Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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