so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
