Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
