So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
