'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
