Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
