her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
