Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
