I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
