Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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