is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
