the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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