Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Apparently you make a good broom.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Randomize
