Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
