No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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