Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
