oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
