new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
