im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
