I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Welp...herpes.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Go christen that room with your naked body.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
