Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
