The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
