There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
