In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
