I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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