I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I skipped work to stalk him.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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