ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
