its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
