I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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