Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
