PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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