dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
