Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
