what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
