break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
My life is pants optional.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
