'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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