Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
