you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
