My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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