All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
