You really coming over, don't trick.
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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