if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
