i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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