Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I want her autograph on my taint
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
