I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize