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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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