no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
