PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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