we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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