No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
