I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
