you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
