All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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