Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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