At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Liz is crying about burritos again.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
