STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
