I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
try to milk me bitch
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
