i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I have fence marks all over my body
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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