on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
