Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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