Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize