at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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