i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I party with great urgency now.
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