I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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